What distinguishes a woman from a girl, a man from a boy, an adult from a child is a degree of self-reliance, of resolve, and emotional stability. Obviously all of us need other people, and all of us are volatile from time to time. But basically either a person has their shit together, or they're all over the place. Weight training helps a bit in maturing because it teaches us to survive failure.
I used to help coach some troubled teenagers, and after pushing them up a hill run until a few of them were crying, I'd stop and tell them a story. Someone I know tried to get into a special military unit, of course he didn't get in. One of the tests was they came and got them in the mess at 0030, "Out on the parade ground in your PT gear at 0100." They got out there, 32km run, "There'll be a truck waiting for you at the other end, be there by 0600." Some time like that.
Of course there was no truck there, just the course sergeant-major with a Rover, hot boxes and tea urn. "Truck broke down, you have to go back on foot, you have until 1600 this time, an old lady can walk it that fast, if you get there earlier your time is your own."
Lots of the guys sat down on the spot. "Anyone else? Anyone want to wait for the truck?" A few more guys sat down. The guy was tempted, it'd been more than 24 hours without sleep and he'd never run more than 15km in one go before, let alone two lots of 32km, but he sensed something dodgy was going on.
Most of them went back on foot, half an hour later the truck came towards them, went past. Half an hour later it came past them again, this time with the guys who'd sat down, jeering at the guys on foot from the back of the truck. Some bloke fell over in pain and was picked up by the medical vehicle.
Got back that afternoon, the guys from the truck were gone. They'd been binned. The guy who fell over? Still in.
The first run was a physical test, they had to make it in time. The second run was a mental test - you just had to try. In a conflict, it does happen that you go on a long patrol, are on your way back into base where you'll have your first shower in a week, hot meals, rest... then the radio sparks up and tells you that you'll come back in, resupply and then head back out. They don't mind if you go "fuck!" so long as you do it. It's alright if you're injured and can't do it, they'll look after you, they understand everyone has limits. But they don't want people who say, "No!" and stop.
The lesson here is: it's alright to fail, it's not alright to give up.
One of the differences between adults and children is that children give up because they're afraid they'll fail. Adults give it a go anyway. This is one of the reasons physical training is important: it teaches us it's alright to fail, we just get up and give it another go another day. Neil Diamond said, "Girl, you'll be a woman soon." I'm sure he was referring to 20 rep squats.
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