"He's not just my client, he's my friend."

Most fitness professional organisations will have a Code of Ethics which includes something like, "the trainer should ensure they do not form a personal relationship which might compromise the professional relationship." What they mean is, "keep it in your pants," but it applies to other kinds of relationships as well. This is difficult because a trainer and client will spend a lot of time with each-other, you the trainer will see the client in vulnerable moments - both failure and success - and clients will generally trust and open up to you in surprising ways. 

Some things for a trainer to think about are below. This is useful for clients as well, of course. 

You can be friends with a client, but there are limits. Essentially you don't want to be a dickhead in front of a client, nor overly familiar. They should not see you drunk and vomiting, or grinding on chicks/guys at the club. If you have problems with your husband or mother, don't talk about them to your client. Especially don't badmouth your colleagues or boss to the client-friend. Any gifts you give to your client-friend should be related to their physical training, like weightlifting shoes, a new set of cricket pads or whatever. 

As a trainer, you'll tend to find that the friendship is rather one-sided and won't last past the training. If they're sick you'll call and see how they are, you'll remember their kid's birthday, that sort of thing. They won't do the same. As well, once the training relationship is over, the friendship will fade away. It's like when you stop working at some place, and your workmates say, "hey, we gotta catch up, let's do lunch sometime." You never will. Take away the common activity and the relationship is dead. They were just friendly, not your friend. 

Since they're your client in your workplace where you spend 20-60 hours a week, they're a big part of your life. But you are only 1/2 to 3 hours a week of their life. They may spend more time each week with Simpsons repeats than they do with you. Outside training, and after the training stops, you'll be well-thought of until you're forgotten shortly afterwards. This is disappointing but there it is, you won't get your fill of social life from the gym, same as any workplace, you need to have a life outside work. 

There are exceptions of course but these are the general rules. 

Steady as she goes

I have a little team of amateur lifters, the other day a 30yo guy said to a 65yo woman as she deadlifted, "I hope I can still do that at your age."

"Keep it up from now and you will," I said, "a lot easier than starting in your 60s." 

Consistency is more important than anything else. Consistency is more difficult than anything else. 

Recently a 21yo lifter was complaining because last week she'd squatted 70kg for her work sets, and the week after I had her do 72.5kg. 

"I can do 75."

"You certainly can. But would you be able to do more next week? And the week after? And so on? Whereas if you do 72.5 today, you'll certainly do more next week, and the week after."

She still didn't like it. "Tortoise and hare," I said, "you know the story?"

"Yeah but you're not a tortoise, you're a fucking snail." 

Interestingly enough, while the first two sets were no problem, as she came to do the third set she started complaining it was heavy and she didn't want to do it.

"First set was easy, second set okay, last set hard. If they were all easy, problem. All hard, problem. But the first was easy, and the last hard. It's almost," I said, "as if I know what I'm doing."
"Bah."

This is part of the job of coaching, helping people stay the course, neither rushing ahead nor lurking behind, keeping them "steady as she goes." 

Lifting weights will make you grow up

What distinguishes a woman from a girl, a man from a boy, an adult from a child is a degree of self-reliance, of resolve, and emotional stability. Obviously all of us need other people, and all of us are volatile from time to time. But basically either a person has their shit together, or they're all over the place. Weight training helps a bit in maturing because it teaches us to survive failure. 

I used to help coach some troubled teenagers, and after pushing them up a hill run until a few of them were crying, I'd stop and tell them a story. Someone I know tried to get into a special military unit, of course he didn't get in. One of the tests was they came and got them in the mess at 0030, "Out on the parade ground in your PT gear at 0100." They got out there, 32km run, "There'll be a truck waiting for you at the other end, be there by 0600." Some time like that. 

Of course there was no truck there, just the course sergeant-major with a Rover, hot boxes and tea urn. "Truck broke down, you have to go back on foot, you have until 1600 this time, an old lady can walk it that fast, if you get there earlier your time is your own." 

Lots of the guys sat down on the spot. "Anyone else? Anyone want to wait for the truck?" A few more guys sat down. The guy was tempted, it'd been more than 24 hours without sleep and he'd never run more than 15km in one go before, let alone two lots of 32km, but he sensed something dodgy was going on. 

Most of them went back on foot, half an hour later the truck came towards them, went past. Half an hour later it came past them again, this time with the guys who'd sat down, jeering at the guys on foot from the back of the truck. Some bloke fell over in pain and was picked up by the medical vehicle. 

Got back that afternoon, the guys from the truck were gone. They'd been binned. The guy who fell over? Still in. 

The first run was a physical test, they had to make it in time. The second run was a mental test - you just had to try. In a conflict, it does happen that you go on a long patrol, are on your way back into base where you'll have your first shower in a week, hot meals, rest... then the radio sparks up and tells you that you'll come back in, resupply and then head back out. They don't mind if you go "fuck!" so long as you do it. It's alright if you're injured and can't do it, they'll look after you, they understand everyone has limits. But they don't want people who say, "No!" and stop. 

The lesson here is: it's alright to fail, it's not alright to give up. 

One of the differences between adults and children is that children give up because they're afraid they'll fail. Adults give it a go anyway. This is one of the reasons physical training is important: it teaches us it's alright to fail, we just get up and give it another go another day. Neil Diamond said, "Girl, you'll be a woman soon." I'm sure he was referring to 20 rep squats. 

Stress vs Strain

Stress your system, don't strain it. But do stress your system. On the one side we have the trainers who fancy themselves as physiotherapists endlessly fixing "muscle imbalances" without ever actually getting anyone strong, on the other we have Crossfit laughing fondly wetting yourself during workouts. 

Some stress on the joints and muscles is not actually a bad thing. Stressing the joints and muscles is the whole fucking point of resistance training. We stress them, they adapt, we get more better faster stronger. Trainers who choose to avoid stressing the systems of their clients had better at least have charming conversation, since they won't be getting their clients results.

Stress, not strain. A stress causes an adaptation, a strain causes an injury. There's a difference. Commonly timid newbies will assume any stress risks serious injury, while macho idiots assume even a strain is good for you.

If we assume that all stressors are strains, we never make our clients more better faster stronger. We peer at our clipboards as we ponder whether anyone ever gets more than a "1" on the overhead squat portion of the Functional Movement Screen, and wonder why our only remaining client is that slightly smelly guy nobody else in the gym talks to. 

If we assume that all strains are stressors, we go the Crossfit way. We end up pumping our fist saying PROGRESS HURTS!, then less than a week later say, I'm injured, how did that happen?

Both approaches, like all extremes, are wrong and stupid. Sensible middle ground, boys and girls. The truth lies in the muddy shell-cratered No-Man's Land between the two warring armies of Gray Cook and Greg Glassman, like some wounded soldier screaming in pain and waiting for any caring person to go pick him up. Let's declare a ceasefire and go rescue him. Or you could stay in your trenches.

"I want to be a personal trainer"

We get a lot of people doing their practical placement at the gym. I give them good advice, most look over my shoulder at the hot chick or guy across the room instead, or examine their nails. I've personally supervised the placements of about 30 students, there were only 3 who I trusted to do a health consult or programme showthrough, most were clueless and not very interested in what was happening around them. One of the ones who paid attention is now working at our gym, I'm not aware of any of the others being employed anywhere. This is a normal ratio, in a class of 20 you'll find 1, if you're lucky 2, actually go on to jobs in the industry. Most people doing the courses just don't know what they want to do, almost none have ever hired a trainer, etc.

In fact recently that has been my first question to the work placement students, and it will be my first question to people asking here about becoming a PT. 

"Have you ever hired a personal trainer? or even got a programme from a gym instructor?"

In most cases the answer is "No, PT is expensive, and a programme, well the instructors at my gym are idiots."

"Right... so you think it's not worth paying for personal training, yet you expect other people to pay for personal training with you? You don't trust the expertise of people who've been doing this for years, but you expect other people to trust your expertise? Do you think PT has value, or not?"

It's okay if you don't think it's worth paying for something. I know guys who never pay for a haircut, they just buy electric clippers and get a #2 all over. But these guys aren't trying to become hairdressers. If you don't value what you're offering, why should anyone else?

drugs, m'kay

Many people get upset when you point out that their favourite bodybuilder or athlete is probably taking drugs to help their performance or appearance. This is not cutting them down, it's letting people know what is naturally attainable.

It's not cutting a fitness model down to point out that at 12% bodyfat she's not likely to have big breasts, so if she does they're probably silicone implants; large breasts are not realistically attainable with a low body fat. Nor is it cutting a crossfit athlete, bodybuilder, etc down to point out that if she's gained a lot of muscle very quickly and has a high lean mass then there's a fair chance she's taking Vitamin T supplements. To those with experience of drug use and drug users, the signs of it are as obvious as breast implants. 

It's not evil to take performance- or appearance-enhancing drugs. As Stevie P points out, we have a double standard about medical assistance with appearance. Want "thigh gap"? Localised lyposuction is yours. Want a bigger penis or breasts? Surgery, no problem. Want a smaller belly? Hell, they'll cut your stomach in half for you! Want bigger arms? FUCK YOU, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE, says the doc. 

It's important to have a realistic of idea of the rate of change and end result attainable with hard work and good food. That way, people can make an informed choice about whether to have surgery, use drugs and so on. 

A large number of professional athletes are using performance-enhancing drugs. If a top performance were attainable without drugs, then drugs would be useless and nobody would take them. "Oh but genetics -" What, all of them are simply genetically talented? None of them take drugs? Who's taking the drugs, then, just the people losing the competitions? Someone needs to have a word with their dealer, then. "No, all of them take drugs except my favourite athlete who is just special." Uh-huh. 

It's not pooing on someone's hard work to suggest they're taking drugs. It didn't matter how much EPO Lance Armstrong stuck in himself, he still had to go out and bust his arse on the bike every day for years. Between gym and the track, he trained around six hours a day six hours a week. Give me 36 hours a week of your time and you'd certainly get remarkable results. Add drugs and you'll be famous. 

Some magnificent physiques and performances exist among professional bodybuilders and athletes. Few are attainable naturally. It's important to understand that there do exist physical limits, to surpass these you need Better Living Through Chemistry. However, this is irrelevant to most of us, since very very few of us come anywhere near our physical limits, basically only professional athletes do, the rest of us have day jobs, families, and so on, we just don't have time to discover our natural limits. 

Awesome physiques and great athletes, not many natural, though. Again, for most of us is not our genetics but our time. Most of us are not professional athletes, so drug use cannot be recommended, for this and many other reasons. The curlbro popping Clenbuterol for his gunz and abz is like someone faking their resume to get a dishwashing job, they're missing the point. 

Edit 2012.07.15 - Jason Blaha lays it down. Let's not bullshit ourselves: the top athletes all take drugs. If you want to be a top athlete, at some point you'll have to make that decision. Me? I wouldn't do it, and I hope my son and anyone I train wouldn't, either. But that's what it is. 

High rep squats

"20 rep squats are primarily a manhood exercise. You struggle through the reps, rack the bar with relief and a sense of achievement, and then it dawns on you: I have to do 5lbs more next week! And that one set out of your whole routine sits in the back of your mind for the next week, taunting you." - Mark Rippetoe, Seattle February 2013

High repetition squats are excellent for building strength and - in combination with stupid amounts of decent food - size in the legs. The horrible thing about high-rep squats is that if you can do 12, you literally always can do another rep - the only question is do you really want to? Once some of my clients competed on squatting 60kg for as many reps as possible. 

Navneet managed 53, and afterwards said, "After 40 reps, you can tell that squats use your whole body." 

I told this to Agatha who'd done 30, and she replied, "It took him 40 reps to realise that?!"

One of my clients Tess is going to do the Tour De France, "oh but only the mountains," thus requiring quads of doom, and so has been on a 20 rep squats and milk programme, with good effect. During a heavy set she'll clench her teeth so tightly that she chips them, so she wears a mouthguard to protect herself from her sheer badarsedness. This week she had a cold, but came along anyway. Below are her thoughts with each rep.

1. "Jesus I feel like shit, how am I going to breathe through a giant mouthguard and blocked nose?"
2. "I'm not sure if my stance is too narrow or too wide...maybe I just feel strange because I have a giant weight on my back...? This feels so much heavier than an extra 2.5 " -sad face on inside"
3. "My arms will surely break off before I get to 20"
4. "Ok, ignore the arms...Feeling.... Okay..."
5. "1/4 through...1/4 through... That's just 3 more of what you've already done"
6. "Don't look up...don't look down...don't snap your teeth!"
7. "Careful of those wrists and hands flapping back"
8. "Bottom of mirror...breathe...don't look down...breathe"
9. "Breathe dammit you're almost half way!"
10. "How many have I done? is it 9? I think it's 9....almost halfway..."
11. "Wait...is this 9...? Did I just do 9 or 10?...where am I...?"
12. "Like Kyle always says "If you can do 12....""
13. "yep...There's that one more after 12...I got this..."
14. "Come on come on come on come on up up up"
15. "1/4 to go...1/4 to go...that's so much more than halfway done..."
16. "Fak yah mudafacka"
17. "Shit...3 more after this one...not 2...Don't snap teeth!"
18. "So close...and yet...so far... get the fuck up!"
19. "One more bitchaaaayz"
20. "Must...lift...to...rack..."

Inspired by her efforts and a continuing quest for legs more like saplings than twigs, I've started on 20 rep squats myself. My own impressions:

1. "Hmm, stance too narrow, feels funny."
2. "That's better."
3. "Ho hum."
4. "Who's that over there? Not bad for a blonde."
5. "WTF? Why are your bringing a bosu over here?"
6. "A bit heavy."
7. "Yes, heavy."
8. "Maybe I need a mouthguard, too."
9. "Okay this is getting boring now."
10. "Hey! That came up easy, I could do 25."
11. "Aaaaaruuugh!" First grunt.
12. "Unk." Second grunt.
13. "25? I don't think so." 
14. "Gug." Third grunt.
15. "FAAAARK." Profanity.
16. "Gasp, gasp."
17. "Hey, milk burp."
18. "Home stretch."
19. "Unh."
20. "Phew. God." Rack.

Tess wouldn't do this on her own because it's insane. I make sure to have a colleague or friend around during my work set, otherwise I would skive off around rep 12. Rip calls it "manhood", but since there is nothing inherent in a penis which grants mental strength, I would call it "resolve". Resolve is an important part of working out, since without it we'll give up and achieve nothing much. 

My job is to help people do difficult things they thought they couldn't do. High rep squats are sometimes a part of this. They're very effective but they're fucking horrible.